Before embarking on the short voyage let me apologise in advance for its slightly serious nature. However since the address is ‘traversemike’ I think it is important to at least include one genuine remark about myself so as to allow you to understand me. This year has been one of tremendous change for me. Now as everyone knows, change is hard and most people avoid it, most of the time. And this is primarily because most of the time, change is made of copper and nobody likes a wallet full of change.
I have been thinking about why personal change is something so hard implement. I have thought for some time that it was fear which serves to cripple before undertaking that journey-of-self into the misty and potentially treacherous new world. The more I think about this however, the more convinced that this is simply not the case. While fear can do some powerful things, things that I hope to speak about another time, this is one thing I am sure it is not responsible for.
What then is the cause of this all this inability to effect change in ourselves? It seems quite plain to me that changing is not itself hard. Left to our own devices, we would change with ease. We have the required commitment and desire to effect that change, and yet we cannot. Even if we try, it is supremely difficult to implement that change. Fear cannot really be what is doing the work here. Most people, who try and change, are certain they would be better off. I cannot see many people being afraid of being happier.
Unless they are afraid of the rabid monster squirrels of Peru. That is genuine fear, those little furry balls of murders do not much like change, and they will strip your ankle to the bone in a matter of days if the so much as smell the winds of change a-blowing. Beware the Rabid Peruvian squirrels. But I Digress.
Self image is well known for its importance and power, but one aspect off imaging I think we sometimes forget is the social image. While not directly related to my point, the idea that we people are afraid of revealing apart of themselves for fear that others will not accept them, serves to produce great anxiety in those wishing to become something socially unacceptable. An occasion which ought to be celebrated, is made painful and tough to commit to, thanks to unfounded social stigma.
Now this is not my concern, as I realise this is a difficult time for people in those situations, but often the overcome that, some with ease, some only after a long time. Certainly there are those who cannot overcome this and never get to reveal themselves. But for fear of stepping on toes, due perhaps to my ignorance of that particular issue, I will put it aside.
If you or I were to undertake a change of persona to something more fitting to who we really were, one that we were not afraid people might shun. We would no doubt find it hard. Why though? It comes down to the worst of all the silly sayings in the English language. “First impressions last”. The fact of the matter is that in general people are unprepared to accept you as anything other than the “you” they created an “identity” for in that first meeting, or common understanding of “who you are” over a period of time.
While you may try and change, those people will serve as a shackle you to the cell, of your former imprisonment. Dragging you back to the very self you crave so deeply to escape from. The sad truth ladies and gentleman, is that most of the time people are trying to improve who they are, and we are trying to keep them where they are, so that we can remain content in the knowledge that the people we know remain a source permanence.
